dreams...

Cooper,

I just ordered my Cooper Bear. Another babyloss mama has started to make bears in memory of our angels. They weigh what our angels weighed. It'll take about a year for my Cooper Bear to come, I'm hoping my Cooper Bear will come around your birthday next year. I can't wait to be able to hold him.

I found this quote today. It's in a a book from one of my favorite authors, Nicholas Sparks. "Dreams are always crushing when they don't come true. But its the simple dreams that are often the most painful because they seem so personal, so reasonable, so attainable. You're always close enough to touch, but never quite close enough to hold, and its enough to break your heart." It has been my dream to be a momma. I know there's a possibility to be someone else's momma as well as yours. It's hard to explain sweet boy, I wanted so badly to be your momma for much longer. You didn't crush me though. You made me realize I had only started to live once you were here. My life had only begun when you came into our world. You were our world.

i'll carry you in my heart forever,
momma