am i forgeting?

Cooper,

I talked to your Nana and yesterday and I told her I thought I was forgeting you. I can't remember the way you looked or the way you felt in my arms. I can't remember it. It kills me to think I'm already forgetting you sweet boy. It hasn't been that long and yet I feel like it's been forever. Your due date is in 3 days. I just want to fly right through it and wake up on Monday.

I try to think about the things I do remember. Like kissing your head and your smell and how soft your skin was. I remember when they laid you on my chest and you had the hiccups and it looked like you were head banging. Daddy just thought it was the funniest thing. You always got the hiccups when it was time to feed. I remember during kangaroo care, we would both fall asleep together. You would move or stretch and make noise and it would wake me right up and we'd snuggle just a little bit closer. Cooper, those are times I treasure the most with you. Feeling you on my chest snuggled together skin-to-skin, just rocking in our corner of the TLC room. Or watching you and daddy rock together. I have that picture and will always treasure it.

I remember right after I had you and I hadn't had the chance to see you yet and I asked Daddy to make sure you were a boy. I wanted a girl so much. But now I can't imagine having a girl. I only want a boy. I want you to have a little brother. I want to tell him all about you and about the week when you changed our lives. And about the day you made us parents. Cooper you made us mommy and daddy and NO ONE will ever be able to take that special place from you. I'm not afraid anymore to think about people asking us how many children we have. I will proudly tell them about you Cooper. I will tell them EVERYTHING.

love you baby boy,
Momma