Cooper,
Saturday marked 5 months since you have left us. It seemed like each month had gotten just a little bit easier and then this 28th I spent most of the day on the couch in tears. I was a complete grouch, even to your daddy. He didn't do anything. I kind of fell of the train explaining your story. I'll try to catch up in Februrary where I left off at. Sometimes telling your story, doing something in your memory or explaining about NEC is healing and sometimes it backfires and makes the situation worse. I find my entries are more random than anything else. A lot of times on my way home from work I'll think about what I want to blog about that night and start 'writing' in my head and then by the time I'm home, finished dinner, and cleaned a bit, I'm exhausted and don't want to do much of anything else. And honestly, grieving is just exhausting.
One of the things I was really looking forward to was telling you all about Daddy & I. Daddy says you wouldn't have been interested because you're a boy and boys aren't into those things. But you were half mine and I know you would have listened to your momma anyways. I've decided to spend a couple of posts talking about Daddy & I and how we met, dated, and got married. Because that sweet boy is also a part of your history.
Daddy and I met the summer after he graduated from high school. I was working for Quik Trip (by the way you would have loved them one day and turned into a gas snob yourself) for about 2 years. I was hired my senior year of high school in 2004, right before I graduated. And Daddy was hired about two years later his senior year. Yes, that means I'm older than Daddy...shhh. I had just gotten back from Europe with Papa. We had a great time, we had spent 2 weeks visiting Spain and France! Daddy had just gotten from from a trip to Padre Islands with Papa Don, Kimmy and Uncle Matty. He was coming in to get his paycheck and find out hi schedule. I didn't know that we even had a new clerk. I was at the cash register and in walks your Daddy into the checkstand like he owned the place. I was pretty unimpressed with him with the way he acted that night. Although, I did think he was pretty cute. Daddy got his schedule figured out and much to our suprise we had at least a one shift every week together. It was generaly Wednesdays that summer. I loved those shifts after I got to know your daddy a bit more. After a few weeks, Daddy asked me to come to a BBQ at his house but I couldn't because Nana, Papa and I had to drive to Washington to pick up Nana's car. Nana, Uncle Nathan, and Aunt Bethany had been in Seattle visiting Aunt Amber and yours cousins Aliex and Aaron while Papa and I were in Europe. While they were there Uncle Nathan was driving and wreck Nana's car. They had to leave it there to be repaired and were driving back to get it. It was a pretty quick trip there and back. Daddy didn't believe me at first. He thought I was just blowing him off. But he came around and invited me to his next BBQ. When I was leaving that night, Daddy walked me to my car and we ended up talking for almost 2 hours, it felt like 2 minutes. I'm pretty sure that's when I knew how much I liked your daddy. We spent the rest of the summer flirting back and forth but nothing more. At the end of summer, Daddy had to have knee surgery and left. I knew I wouldn't being seeing him as much any more and just assumed nothing would ever come of it, even though I had a pretty big crush on him. The only times I saw Daddy were on Sunday shifts. Daddy only admitted later, he would always come in 'early' and I admitted I'd always find a reason to stay late. Daddy always ended up finding a reason to do trash and I'd have to get gas before going back to school, so we always ended up talking for a bit when Daddy got the trash from my gas pump. I came back to work around Thanksgiving Break. I had a formal coming up for my sorority. Daddy and I feel back into our normal routine. Daddy always tried to find ways to make me laugh or embarass me. And I just played right into it. That entire shift I kept trying to summen the courage to ask him to go with me. I can't remember exactly what I said but it was some lousy excuse on why my 'date' had dumped me and couldn't go with me anymore. Daddy said later on he saw right through it and he said he'd go with me. The weekend of the formal finally rolled around. The week we had a snowstorm and school had been closed down for a few days. I was so worried that he wasn't going to come anymore. The school I went to was about 2 1/2 hours away from Tulsa. But Daddy came anyways. Daddy admitted later, that it was somewhere along this drive there that he realized how much he liked me. Because who in their right mind would drive 180 miles in a snowstorm to go to some silly little formal??? Daddy ended up staying the night and most of the next day. And ever since then we've been pretty inseperable, with the exception of a few times, but that's another night of blogging.
love you to the moon and back,
Momma
No comments:
Post a Comment