August 13, 5 months ago

Cooper,

It's been almost 5 months since you finally came and since you've been gone.  Every month I keept telling myself  "This month I will blog about each day that happened X months go."  And each month I keep putting it off. I think I'm finally going to attempt it.

August 13, 2011 - 33 weeks, 6 days...
This time 5 months ago Daddy and I were in Oklahoma City at my cousin's wedding.  She's Catholic and I've never been to a Catholic wedding nor did I have ANY idea what to expect other than it being longer than our wedding and lots of getting up and down.  On that day I was 33 weeks, 6 days.  Daddy and I had planned on going down the night before but I can't remember now why we didn't.  I do remember I had to drive and I was pretty incormfortable.  Daddy and I had a fight on the way there and I can't remember what it was about but I know we were running late.  We were planning on staying with my BFF from college Kristen (she was your Godmomma :) ) We hadn't been for a visit since May and she had gotten a new apartment recently.  We quickly got ready for the wedding.  Daddy and Kristen were out in her living room chatting and I was in the bathroom and I dropped my ENTIRE make up bag in her toilet.  I was so frustrated.  Here I was almost 8 months pregnant, feeling quite un-pretty and my make up is floating in her toilet.  Daddy fished everything out and we set it out to dry but I couldn't use any of it.  Daddy and I left and we barely made it there in time.  We ended up getting lost because of construction.  We got to the church and as soon as we got inside I was sweating already.  At that point, my BP was starting to get higher each visit but no one was concerned.  And when they checked my urine (gross I now, Daddy was appalled at the cups and inisited they be put in ziplock bags before they were put in the car and refused  to touch my purse if he knew 'it' was in there) there was never any protein in it.  I was also starting to swell each day.  We assumed it was just because I had started back at work and wasn't as used to being on my feet so much...  I was already swollen that day but it was starting to get pretty painful to walk.  My hips wer killing and it felt like the skin on my legs was completely streched out and couldn't be stretched anymore.  We got into the chapel and it was even hotter.  I noticed there were vents on the floor and I tried to find a seat where I could sit near a vent and have the air on my feet.  The wedding was LONG and there was a lot of standing up and sitting down.  I was a pretty stubborn pregnant lady and deteremined to do everything everyone else was doing.  Towards the end I was REALLY starting to hurt and getting dizzy when I stood up and just plain hot. I started to fall over and Daddy caught me, sat me down and told me to sit for the rest of the wedding.   Nana and Aunt Lou took one look at me told me that it probably wasn't a good idea for me to go to the reception.  Daddy and I went back to Kristen's and I put my feet up and tried to get cool. We rested for a while and it was about that time we were all really starting to get hungry.  They let me pick.  There's a yummy little restuarant called Santa Fe Cattle Co. and we don't have them here in Wichita so that's where I wanted to eat.  Tinker AFB happened to be across the street from where we were at and I've never been to a really big base and Tinker is HUGE.  So Daddy tooks us all across the street to show us the base.  We ended up in the BX in the baby section.  I was overwhelemed thinking about everything we still needed to get you.  We really hadn't purchased anything yet.  The next day we were actually going to our 1st baby shower for you at Aunt Lou's house.  We walked around for a bit and I started to swell up again so we left to go back to Kristen's and just sit.  Daddy had bought a bunch of movies at the BX and ended up watching them all.  Kristen and I just sat around talking and catching up.  I do remember I stayed pretty swollen all evening.  It was pretty bad. Daddy would push on my skin and it would leave an impression for several minutes and it was pretty painful.  I never really got cool that night either. It was pretty muggy.  But we did have a really hot summer last year.  Looking back, I don't think it ever entered my mind that in a week we would be in the hospital and you would be here.  And two weeks later you would be fighting for your life.  We just couldn't imagine it.

love you to the moon and back,
Momma