Day 3 ~ A picture of the cast from your favorite show

Cooper,

After you died, I didn't do anything for weeks.  And then I needed to take my mind of of everything.  I started recording everything and would spend my days watching the shows I had recorded.  It became like an escape, I didn't have to think for a while.

I've watched Glee from the beginning and it's always been my guilty pleasure.  I love this show.  I'm not sure why I have a fasincation with this show.  I hated high school because I didn't fit in anywhere.  And I can't sing to save my life.  Daddy says I sign loud and off key.  But he's not much of a singer either so he can't be one to talk.  The only time I've really sung was to you in the NICU.  I'd think you liked it because I always sang to you after you were finished eating.  You'd fall asleep quickly.  But then you had a clean diaper, a fully belly, and were snuggled all warm on my chest, I'm prety sure I'd fall asleep pretty quickly too.  Your favorit songs were "You Are My Sunshine" and a little song that Nana used to sing to me when I was a little girl.  When I'm sad, I find myself sing those songs.  And when we come to visit I sing them to you before we leave.

I've loved this show for a long a time as well.  Daddy not so much.  He doesn't like the dry humor.  I hated this show at the beginning of this season because there were 2 new babies born on the show.  I hated seeing pregnant women and new babies.  I remember fast forwarding through those scenes.  And still even now, there are sometimes I still get a little pain in my heart.  I know everytime I see those episodes I will always think back to you.  Watching the show, was one of the first times I think I actually laughed.  And I kept laughing.  Laughing started to feel good and became a normal part of life againe.  And after a while, I didn't feel guilty when I laughed.

This is another show that I've watched from the beginning.  Papa works in the medical field at a big cancer hosputal in Tulsa.  I've always thought that if I wasn't a teacher I would be doing something in the medical field.  This season one of the doctor's decided he want to be a NICU doctor, it wasn't long after you and I could only imagine the plots that would come.  And then Janurary came.  There was anothre doctor on the show and had to have her son early, way earlier than you came. The baby survived the first night and then the first week and I thought that was going to be the end of the plot.  But then a few weeks later, the baby re-entered the show again.  The baby was getting sick very suddenly and was finally diagnosed with NEC. It was kick to my gut.  I became way to emtionally involved with the characters in the plot.  I identified with them way too much.  The plot unfolded for the next three weeks but in the end, the baby didn't make it.  By far the hardest episode I've ever watched.  They have killed off cast members, had bomb scares, and crazed gunmen enter the hospital.  Every unimaginable scenero has most likely been on the show.  But the one plausible episode was the one that brought the tears.


love you to the moon and back,
Momma