Cooper,
I've been thinking a lot lately about what life was a year ago. A year ago, I was scrambling to try to finish all of my home visits before I went on a training. I remember hauling myself in and out of my car, really not that big yet but it was starting to get hot. I had a new assistant teacher as well. I was also trying to get lesson plans laid out for her while I was in Kansas City with Dad. Dad and I ended up really enjoying ourselves while we were there. I look back and I'm so glad that we had that time together, all 3 of us. We spent a lot of time talking about how we couldn't wait until you were finally here and we would bring you back with us. Kansas City isn't that far from us and there were still lots of things we could do with you with us. Dad said he didn't want to be that set of parents who didn't go out and do anything just because they had a kid. Ohhh, he said that then and I *hope* he'll say it again, but I really wouldn't mind if we were that couple who doesn't do anything except stay at home with their baby.
Last year, I couldn't wait for school to be over and finally be on summer break. I know once summer was over and we were back at school that I'd probably only be there for about 4-6 weeks before I left for maternity leave before you came. I think I was back at work for maybe two and a half weeks before my body betrayed me. The end of the school year meant I was just getting closer to finally meeting you!
I spent most of the summer doing things I thought I wasn't going to be able to do, sleep, read, and craft. Binx and I took walks in the morning and late in the evenings when it was cool. I cooked from scratch most nights and even baked a little bit. I was starting to get bigger each day and sleep was definitely getting harder. I spent some of the days making sure our registries were perfect for the upcoming baby showers. There were days when Dad left for work in the mornings and I was already on the computer and by the time he came home in the afternoons I was still sitting there. I ate lunch with Dad most every day thinking that this summer it probably wouldn't be as feasible. We spent the summer trying to do things we didn't think we'd be able to do for a long time.
I also started to look forward to all the different things that you and I would do together. We're were going to go to the pool on base with Kristin and her boys. Randall and Dad would come when they could but it would mostly be Momma and Cooper time. We were going to go to the zoo and look at the animals. You were going to ride the camels and feed the giraffes. And when it got really hot outside, we would go to the gorilla exhibit. Daddy was so excited to be able to take you fishing with Papa Don and Uncle Charlie. He was already trying to find you your first fishing pole. Papa Don and Kimmy had bought floats for you and Norah to use in the pool this summer. And bringing you home with us! I couldn't wait to bring you home with us! Papa Don has the BEST parties during the summer and this summer was going to be the best with two new Sala grandbabies.
It wasn't supposed to be this way. This wasn't the summer I had imagined.
I'm dreading the end of school and the beginning of summer. I'm not sure how I'm going to fill up my time now. I've got a few craft projects I could finish. I'll probably go back to cooking and baking again for Dad and his co-workers. We'll still go home. We've even been thinking about taking a little trip, just the two of us. I'll continue to go see Adrienne and Compassionate Friends, two things I did not picture myself doing this summer. Dad and I have started a new healthy lifestyle , I might even 'attempt' to lose more weight. It'll probably still be, Binx and I walking around base, this time avoiding the strollers and parks. The end of this school year just means we are getting closer to your first birthday and closer to the anniversary of the day we said good bye.
Hopefully, the end of the next school year will be different.
love you to the moon and back,
Momma
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