Sunday, July 29, 2012

A Season of Change

Cooper,

I miss you so much.  I know Daddy does as well.  We've had lots of changes over the past the month.  Daddy is officially getting out of the Air Force.  My heart hurts for him but we are so relieved to be getting out.  Daddy loves his job but after he got hurt almost 4 years ago, he really couldn't everything he was supposed to be able to do.  He's always said he joined to see the world, but then he got stationed 130 miles from home.  He has been able to a few pretty cool places but he's never been able to deploy as much as that idea scares Momma, I know how much he wanted to be able to do that.  Daddy really wanted to stay in and make this his career but he can't.  Even after he got hurt, we tried everything to fix his knee so he could.  But after we lost you, we sort of just gave up and didn't really care.  He just did what needed to be done.  We're going to Texas next month to sort out some of the problems with his knee.  And sometime after that, they should give us an exact date for Daddy's last day as an airman.  We should be here for a few months after that.

Daddy has already started to look for a new job.  I can tell he's excited about starting something new.  He'll still get to do what he's doing know, but just as a civilian.  And there will still be that opportunity for him to travel and see those cool places he's always wanted to see.  And there won't be anyone to tell him no because of his knee.  He's been looking at jobs in Florida.  We've never lived that far from home before.  It's exciting and scary all at the same time.  I'm looking forward to this new adventure with him.  But sad because we won't be close to Nana and Papa and everyone else.  And especially that I won't be able to go and visit you at your special place.  Nana has already promised she'd take good care of it for me.  I'm hoping once we get to Florida, I'll be in a school district or a private school again.  Daddy and I have also been thinking about the idea of me going back to school full time to get my Masters in Reading.  I'm honestly not sure whether or not I really want it anymore.  Everything has changed so much.

I have to go back to work tomorrow.  I'm dreading it.  This time last year, I was excited about it.  I knew I'd be back for about 6 weeks and then be off for a few months because you would finally be here.  I was only back at work for about 2 weeks before I got sick and you came early.  This year I don't know how to feel about it. Ms. Suzy isn't coming back because her husband got a job in Nebraska.  I am so excited for Ms. Suzy and Mr. Marcus, they have some fun exciting new changes in their life as well! And Ms. Janice is finally retiring so she can spend more time with her son and her grandbabies in Texas.  I also found out a bit of information about someone else at work.  I know they've been working towards something at work and it finally happened for them.  I knew it was coming but just not this quickly.  I feel very numb.  Ms. Shirley will still be there and I'm happy about that.  I just hope we are finally together if even for only a few months, she is wonderful and I believe she could handle the room by herself until they could find a replacement for me.  I started working on a few ideas for things I'd really like to change.  I've been looking for some art monthly art projects.  It made me sad to think about because I'll never get a art project from you.  I love art projects.  I'm sure our refrigerator would have been covered in your masterpieces.  I don't think I could have thrown any of them away and I would have had a big box of all of them.

love you to the moon and back, 
Momma

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